by The Usual Suspect
I watched 2010 sink like a ship laden with the corpses of my failures and turned my back on it completely. The debt and the baggage comes with into this year of course, but not my patience. I waited for my turn like a good little tool until I realized that the meek don't inherit the earth. They are trampled into it.
The second attempt at college was a complete failure, resulting in more debt that I will be paying back. And then that's it. I don't think I'll try to use the GI Bill ever again. Too many open palms need that money, and I'd rather go it alone at this point. Six months of busting my ass will get me back to square one, June 2009 again. From where I sit, that sounds great.
Now, I enjoy bitching about the V.A. as much as the next vet, but I'd be excrementally fucked if it weren't for them. PTSD + TBI = one lost motherfucker. I'm seeing a therapist, a speech therapist (it's all brain related, homie), starting Voc Rehab next month, and I have some income thanks to disability. Just enough to hold it together, never enough to make it work.
And that's why I applied at Taco Bell. I didn't get a response of course, despite the sign in the window saying they were hiring. Starting to think I've got some dark cloud over my head that everyone else can see but I can't. My next resume will not list the Army, just as an experiment. This is a hippie liberal town. It would probably help.
So whatever, in short, I've got a shit sandwich to chew through and no more time to waste. You're fucking nuts if you think I'm going to come back to my own country and live in squalor. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAA HAAAA!!!
No, I just want a middle class existence. Get out of this cabin in the woods outside of town and get my own apartment. Be a real person again. Basic cable. Discovery Channel and cooking shows. Buying my own groceries with my own money, cooking my own food, not having to leech off of others. Paycheck to paycheck. Independent. Whole again. Iraq sucked sometimes, but there, you had your buddies. Here in the world, all that is gone. You can tell yourself that you can maintain friendships with Facebook but come on, let's be honest. It's a fucking rolodex.
Hell, most of your old civilian friends will bail on you after you've "changed", but the V.A. is still there. And they've got employees that do care. Why give the halfass ones all the publicity? Just ask their names and complain about them. Maybe they'll get shitcanned and some new hires will come in and work harder. After all, this is America. Dog eat dog. Bring steak sauce.