My study breaks are usually time away from the computer for family things like dinner, or a family walk, or an errand to the store. After the kids go to bed, a glass of rum or scotch soothes me into a relaxed and contemplative mood. Instead of papers, we have incorporated family movie night into the schedule once a week, and they are great fun. But I still find myself thinking about my papers.
When I came home from the stop lossed tour in Iraq, I wanted to play baseball as a form of exercise. I wanted to do something for me, to enjoy living life again. I joined a competitive, 18+ wood bat league and found that I hadn’t missed a beat. I hadn’t played in nine years, but I could still keep up with the kids fresh out of high school. But, after a dozen games, my arm fell off. I was pitching and my humerus snapped. I still remember the ball flying into the backstop behind the batter. I remember the sound of the break and my barely attached arm floating toward the dugout while my body spun a half circle and collapsed to the ground beneath the pitchers mound. I laid silently on the ground with my arm twisted and contorted in unnatural ways next to me. The umpire walked up to me as my team crowded around me. “That’s a ball.”
Fortunately, the nerves were not severed, but they were damaged. My elbow used to extend greater than 180 degrees, and I now settle for about 170 degrees. It took seven months for the nerves to regenerate to where my fingers could extend. It took the thumb another three months. My arm had shriveled to a skeletal stick, but the break healed naturally on its own after being set in place. It isn’t perfect, but it is strong.
The Day After, June 2007.
After the break, I lost flexibility in my range of motion, as well as general strength. My shoulder is still tight. I can throw the tennis ball for the dog, but the days of throwing 85mph fastballs and knee buckling curves are over. There is no velocity, and no easy loft in my form. That is why I started doing pushups: to regain something that I have lost. I can only do ten, but hose ten are the hardest ten I’ve ever done and it feels so great when done. I hope for the muscle memory to kick in. I hope to work the strength back up—not to pitch again, but because it’s gratifying as an accomplishment.
Last night, as a study break, I did twelve pushups before my abs collapsed and my back caved in. Each night, I’m only going to do one set. I want to get the blood flowing. I want to break up the monotony of living online. I want to do just one more pushup a night than I did the previous night. That would be an accomplishment I can toast to before returning to Yeats and Wordsworth and Eliot and Mcphee and Volmann and Mitchell and Didion.
9 comments:
OUCH! That looks seriously painful!
It is amazing how much force can be generated throwing a baseball. Wouldn't it be better for your arm to add some basic upper arm strength training exercises to build up the muscle strength and endurance? Stretching the shoulder joint is also important to keep your ROM as normal as possible. Just wondering?
Sounds like your keeping your nose to the grindstone for sure...wow, ten hours a day at the laptop, that will give you some tight hip flexors for sure! Make sure you take breaks and stretch every couple hours or so. I guess laptop cramps will be your new occupational hazard. Take care Jason. Hope Mrs. 13 and family are doing well.
I have a similar story. I frayed the cartilage in my throwing shoulder my senior year in high school, so it was always sore throughout college and in the Army. And then, in Iraq one day, I basically unzipped my labrum in that shoulder while boxing in Tal Afar. I couldn't tuck in my shirt properly for a couple of weeks after that. Anyway, after my two tours, I decided the same thing you did. As soon as I enrolled in the VA system (and this isn't a plug), I made an appointment for my shoulder. After haggling with them for a month or two, they finally relented and decided they'd operate. So in February 2005, a VA orthopedic surgeon returned my throwing shoulder to the condition it had been in 1996. It was a long six-month rehabilitation after that (I have some great "shriveled-arm" photos), but by fall 2005, I had hooked on with a team in the North Texas Amateur Baseball League. I played the next three seasons in the outfield and actually got to pitch a few innings in relief. It was the most fun I've ever had playing baseball. Post-war baseball is awesome.
On a weird note, after the surgery and all the rehab, I lost zero velocity at 60' 6". But for some reason, I couldn't ever throw a ball as far from the outfield. Not sure about the physics and mechanics involved there.
Holy crap popped out of my mouth at the sight of that break. I've been reading too many war blogs, I've got a mouth like a soldier!
Seriously man, that looks really awful but it sounds like you heal well. And exercise is always a good thing.
The thinking thing -- don't we all do that? Seriously. For me booze doesn't work, got used to benadryl, so I turn on the radio - not music because I sing along, but talk shows or books on CD. Puts me right to sleep. Of course it takes forever to finish a book that way, and if you pick a nasty talk show guy they may just wake you up in the middle of the night with a shouting match....
~P~
geezus.h.chryst.
I now have sympathy pains.
ok... sympathy ache.
Tom Browning of the Reds broke his arm pitching also. He was a lot older than you are and had many years on that arm. Still a nasty thing to suffer.
Horrible that this break happened to you, but I admit it was cool that you posted the x-rays.
Browning used to work out some on campus in the off season, as did some other pitchers. Indoor cages are nice things to have. The fall before Browning's perfect game I caught him and Bill Gullickson and got them to sign baseballs. Two of them to give as Christmas presents to my nephew and now ex-hubby.
Eating her words here. Yesterday I told you how well the radio works to help me sleep.
At 4am this morning - when I was STILL awake - I couldn't help but think I'd better take that back.
I'd finished a book earlier written by CMDR Bucher about the seizure of his ship USS Pueblo by the North Koreans in 1968, and the 11 months of imprisonment that followed. And I was reminded all night long of those nights when I really couldn't get to sleep. The ones when you close your eyes and they pop open again as if they're springloaded. I was so mad about the way he was treated when he and his crew returned I kept wanting to throw the book and break something. Truly. I may have a terminal case of torqued jaw.
So Jason, forget what I said up there. It may work for aches and pains but it definitely does not work for the brain.
~P~
D,
The arm is nearly healed in every regard. My ROM is almost perfect. My elbow occasionally cramps, as does my wrist. The funny thing is that I can bench press the same amount of weight I did before the injury, but pushups somehow bring an extra pain (the good kind).
Brandon,
I played in NABA. You lucked out. It's been 28 months since the injury, and I haven't thrown a baseball, though that is partly because I have no one t throw to.
We both know that 85 mph (at best, and usually closer to 80) is nothing to brag about. I, too, was an outfielder. I've never seen a CF patrol center with more coverage than I could. I never had Torii's hops at the wall, but I got everything in the gaps. I was only pitching because I could throw a CG and not walk anyone. Unfortunately, my very straight and mediocre fastball was too hittable and I didn't have a third pitch. As a result, I threw more than 50% curveballs. I took my good arm mechanics for granted. I had never felt any pain or warning sign or trouble or anything for concern or alert. Top of the fourth when it happened, and it was a curve.
Pattie,
I listen to classical music every night. There is an amazing station based out of USC, and it's commercial free. I can't allow myself to read books in bed because I have so many texts for school to read that I won't allow myself to read something else. I don't take books to bed because it just keeps me thinking.
Kathy,
I remember both Browning and Gullickson. I remember Gullickson's career never took off as a result of injuries, but he was highly touted at one point, I think, around the same time as Jason Isringhausen? Anyway, I didn't know about Browning, but I do remember Dave Dravecky, of the Giants, in 1989. His arm did something similar, though I believe it was growth related. I think it was later amputated.
Browning's break happened in 1994 (?). I just looked it up and still not sure of the year. Middle-aged brain is no laughing matter. He tried to come back from it but couldn't. Bill Gullickson was a very nice guy. Played in Japan for a while too I think.
Wow!! That is one horrible break from just throwing a ball!!
I know yoga sounds gay, but it's the best way I know of to stay healthy and mobile over the long haul. I wish I had made a point to do more... I'd probably be more comfortable now.
If you do yoga, and something aerobic, you're good to go for a long time. Oh, yoga helps with the mind stuff. z
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