Thursday, May 21, 2009

Absinthe

Yeah, double-check the title. The lady in the liquor store swore up and down that yes, this shit is legal. I wasn't going to second guess this one opportunity, so I dropped sixty bones on a bottle and disappeared faster than O.J. in a Bronco, except I succeeded. The only downside? Well, I haven't hallucinated for SHIT, so that false advertising can burn in blackest hell.

As for creativity, I don't feel a damn bit of difference between this and a bit too much Vodka. I capitalize Vodka because as double-geared as that devil-mix is, it deserves its credit.

This shit is.... 69% alcohol by volume and nothing more impressive than that. Requires little more than a hashbrown breakfrast. Maybe I bought the wrong brand, but from what the shopkeep told me, this shit is LEGAL now. At this pace, I fucking believe it. I could eat for a week off of what I paid for this. Where are the leprechauns? Where are the trolls, gnomes, dwarved, gay elves, and other such fruity tripscape bullshit characters? I'd demand a refund if it weren't for the fact that half a bottle has me buzzing good and hard and ready to finish some movie about Brad Pitt being born OLD and slowly de-aging. The name? Eh, blow me, the case is ten feet away. Use google.

If you know of some Absinthe that causes a legit case of TRIPPIN' BALLS!!!!, let me know. Sixty bucks....FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU----

15 comments:

Alan said...

Absinthe will not help you hallucinate. It never did. The whole hallucination thing is a myth spread by people who preyed on the gullible and deceived the public. In many cases because their absinthe wasn't so good.

Those people who will spend $ 60 or more on absinthe (and there are many of them) do so because they enjoy it, not for any "effects." There are many other great absinthes around nowadays.

And the film is Benjamin Button. I enjoyed it ... with and without absinthe!

Anonymous said...

From what I have seen, the store bought legal stuff does not cause any hallucinations.......However, apparently there are some homemade concoctions of wormwood oil/absinthe that may. Warning, they taste like shit!!!!! And no, I do not know the recipes.

13 Stoploss said...

I had some Lucid over Xmas. Only time I'd pay that much money for alcohol is when I'm not paying. Yeah-ha, got a $50 spot as a down payment, and thought, "what the shit? probably the only time I'll have this chance again."

I too, had not experienced the trip. I kinda enjoyed it, minus the horrid breath it gave me. The buzz was good, but the really key thing to keep in mind is to have 33 degree water to louche. Go to the store and get some sugar cubes, and get a decent absinthe spoon, too. Since I bought mine during the holidays, I got two fancy glasses and a spoon in the same lame package. score, because I wasn't spending extra on that shit either...

I actually did a good amount of writing on 13stoploss while on the stuff.

1. Buy Lucid. Or the stuff that Marilyn Manson sells.
2. Buy the accoutrements.
3. Louche, but don't overdo the douching. Or else it's just 30%...

Anonymous said...

Suspect, you moron, what ARE you doing? Are we decompressing with a capital "D?" Take a shower, start studying! If you had a proper education, you'd know better than to blow your wad on that shit. You are going to RUIN your liver! You want to hallucinate, take some peyote or acid. You only get one liver. z

The Usual Suspect said...

I wasn't impressed. Also, I wasn't expecting to literally hallucinate, but I was anticipating some kind of free-flowing thought creative goodness you always hear about. Didn't notice a difference.

Feel mildly like shit today. Back to traveling. Peace.

Arli said...

The stuff from back around the turn of the century, or before it became illegal in the US, might've made you hallucinate. The stuff they legally sell now, does not. Sorry you got fooled. Sometimes we learn the hard and expensive way. I've still got my bottle of mezcal with the worm in it, but I recently read that it's myth about the hallucinogenic properties of the worm. Good. Now I don't suck that gross thing down. Yuck.

Alan said...

Arli,

Not true.

http://tinyurl.com/ctclv6

No difference between old and new absinthes.

bigD said...

Well I guess it's good you guys are on the same site now, so it saves me time from lambasting the two of you on different blogs! WTF are you thinking? Oh wait...check that, no thinking involved here, just typical young person, nothings' gonna happen to me, gotta "experiment" with the drugs while I can bullsh*t. Can you tell I am totally anti-drugs of any kind, including ETOH! I know I am way in the minority on this topic, but, I don't give a crap. Suspect...I am not smiling now. (Well I am not gonna let you see me laughing at your dumb ass.) Please be careful what you put into your body, you only get one go round in that thing.

Why don't you guys get together and write a post on why drugs and other mind-altering substances are needed by society in general? I am not naive about drug and alcohol use, I just don't get it. Maybe I should start drinking and find out what I am missing.

Ryan, you don't need hallucinogenic drugs to be creative. Your brain is already wired tight for that, and Jason the same thing goes for you too. Let's not go and f*ck up all the synapses or things will be going haywire and the next thing you know you will be drooling in a wheelchair and you won't remember your name. OK, I am done ranting now. Sorry...had to jump on my Mom/Nancy Nurse soap box there for a minute. Peace.

Anonymous said...

The Absinthe here in the states is legal because it is not the real shit, so you will not experience the same time of effect as the Absinthe in Europe would cause.

You can find some website which will ship the real Absinthe here, but cost you about $250 or so.

Last time I was in Europe I brought back 4 bottles of the real shit back, good times. Friend loved it and hated it at the same time. Strong.

-Filip

13 Stoploss said...

Thanks, Mom.

I am, however, completely, 100% against illegal drugs, and the abuse of prescriptions. I can say this honestly, I have never used any illegal drug, not even a single puff/inhale/whatever from a lowly joint/weed...

I don't abuse alcohol. Just use. :)

Malibu Niki said...

I saw the FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU and almost shit my pants laughing! (I know, I know, there are no girls in teh internets...)

Anonymous said...

Oh well, you could have lost a lot more than sixty bucks.

Just for fun, Google "alchohol poisoning."

We used to make a little punch out of Everclear and grape juice. Was a hell of a party except one of my friends never woke up.

Wish it was only money blown that night. Take care.

mamaworecombatboots

Kelsey said...

I'm not sure about the different kinds of absinthe available here and in Europe, but I also think it affects people differently. When I was in Budapest several years ago, two of my friends tried absinthe, the same amount of the same kind at the same time, each having drunk about the same amount of regular alcohol prior, and had completely different reactions. One hallucinated like hell, at one point remembering having a long, at least half-hour conversation with one of our friends while she was alone in her hotel room and that particular friend was six floors below her in the lobby for 5 minutes getting a room key. The other person who tried absinthe was completely fine, even able to split the bar tab into 8 parts and then convert it into dollars when none of the non-absinthe-drinking people could figure it out. There were no green fairies, but definite hallucinations, so I can guarantee that it's happened at least once!

By the way, I had heard that absinthe was available in the US legally now, but also that it wasn't the same stuff. This is supposed to be milder. No proof, that's just what I've heard from people who've tried both.

Anonymous said...

The government does the same thing to booze that wal-mart does to movies, they take the good parts out.

Anonymous said...

Never tried absinthe in the US, but I've had my trips to Prague, Krakow, Bratislova, etc and drank plenty of absinthe there. It'll get you drunk as a skunk, but not much else. No difference between "theirs" and "ours", except that we buy "theirs" imported and pay extra for taxes, magically transforming it into "ours". Same chemistry. Same wormwood. Same nasty taste. Same rough morning after.
Absinthe in the states has to be tested and labeled "thujone-free", but it's pretty much accepted that the thujone doesn't cause hallucinations anyway. So where do the "hallucinations" come from? Same place that Smurfs and LOTR came from...